Have an Attitude of Gratitude!

When we're in pain, it can be hard to see the good in life. But a consensus of experts, from religious leaders to psychologists, tell us that we will be happier if we cultivate an attitude of gratitude.

Have an Attitude of Gratitude, No Matter What the Circumstances Are!

What Makes Us Discouraged?

Nothing makes us discouraged. True, sometimes things happen that we don't like. But those things don't have the power to make us feel down and out. Most things in life are outside of our control, but our attitude is not. No matter what has gone wrong in life, we can always choose to have an attitude of gratitude!

I know it's not easy to stay grateful, in spite of unpleasant circumstances. Believe me, I know. It's not easy. It's hard. But it is possible.

Don't believe me? That's fine. Because if it was just me saying it, I wouldn't believe it either. It would seem too counterintuitive to be true. Bad things happen, yet you're supposed to stay grateful about your life? How is that supposed to work?

But according to God, it does work. And it is possible. And it's what God wants us to do, no matter what the circumstances look like!

The Apostle Paul's Teachings on Gratitude

In 1 Thessalonians 5:18, Paul says, "In everything give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you."

The Apostle Paul earned the right to say that, too. In 2 Corinthians 11:23-27, he talks about some of the difficulties he faced: he was whipped five times, he was beaten with wooden rods three times, he was stoned almost to death, and he was shipwrecked three times and adrift in the middle of the stormy sea. He was jailed multiple times because of his religious convictions, and not in an American jail where he was constitutionally protected from cruel and unusual punishment; no, he was thrown into Roman dungeons where no punishment would have been considered too cruel. He was ultimately killed by the Romans, very likely after being tortured. And through it all, Paul did not waiver in his commitment to God. There is no way Paul could have done all that if he had not followed his own advice and given thanks to God in every circumstance.

Philippians 4:4-9 contains a powerful distillation of Paul's teaching about having an attitude of gratitude.

• Rejoice in the Lord always, and again I say, rejoice. 
• Let your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand. 
• Be careful (anxious) for nothing; but in everything, by prayer and supplication and with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known unto God;
• And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
• Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report, if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.
• Those things, which you have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do; and the God of peace shall be with you.

No matter what is going wrong, God is still good, so start by rejoicing in God. Don't give in to anxiety or despair.  Instead, pray: tell God how you feel and ask him for what you need, and make sure you do it "with thanksgiving!" Thank God because you know he will make a way. (1 Corinthians 10:13.) And then focus on positive things.

It won't be easy. But God will give you all the grace you need to do it.

Having an Attitude of Gratitude

Here's the reality of our situation: in the world, we will have problems, but Jesus has given us his word, so that we can have peace in him. (John 16:33.)

It is not a choice whether we will have difficult circumstances. We will. That's guaranteed. Jesus said it. And if that wasn't enough, every philosopher or religious leader I've ever heard of has agreed with him. For example, the first noble truth of Buddhism is that suffering is everywhere. Even those who don't believe in God believe that the world is full of problems.

But although we don't have a choice about whether we will have problems in life, we do have a choice about whether we will have peace. We will have problems, but we can have peace. The problems come no matter what. The peace comes only if we choose to trust God and follow the Bible's teachings about having an attitude of gratitude in all circumstances.

Fortunately, that choice cannot be taken away from us. In addition to these promises of God, we have the testimony of Jews and Christians who have faced the most horrific circumstances imaginable, yet who have chosen to respond with godly virtue. For example, both Viktor Frankl and Corrie Ten Boom wrote about their experiences in Nazi death camps, and both shared stories of people who did noble and heroic deeds, even in the face of cruelty and death. (I highly recommend Dr. Frankl's book, Man's Search for Meaning, and Corrie Ten Boom's book, The Hiding Place.)

As Zig Ziglar once said, "Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude." If you choose to have a bad attitude, you will really only hurt yourself, and that's in addition to whatever other problems you already have! Why make things worse for yourself? Why not take advantage of biblical principles and promises, so that you can have a better, more victorious life right now?

But Life Is Not Fair! I Have a Reason to Be Unhappy!

Even though it's the truth that we can only have God's peace if we choose to have an attitude of gratitude, some people will object that this ignores all the reasons people have for being unhappy. Life is unfair. People did me wrong. If you knew what I'd been through, you wouldn't say that.

Well, I don't know what you've been through -- just like you don't know what I've been through -- but I still know that you are better off finding something to be grateful about.

You're right about life being unfair. It can be very unfair. While we should do what we can to work for justice and oppose injustice, we will never remove all the unfairness from life, no matter how hard we try.

Something I learned from cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is that it can be beneficial to evaluate beliefs on the basis of whether they are helpful or unhelpful, rather than whether they are true or false. "Life's not fair" is a true belief. But, how helpful is it to dwell on that belief, to ruminate over life's injustices and to remind ourselves over and over again about how we've been wronged?

Once, I was in therapy for an injury I'd suffered because of someone else's carelessness. I hadn't done anything wrong, but I had been hurt. And now I had to work through painful exercises in order to heal properly.

In that circumstance, I could think about how I had been wronged or about how it was unfair for me to be enduring painful therapy while the person who had caused my injury was (to my knowledge) healthy and able-bodied. That thought would have been true. But how helpful would it have been? Not very.

Sometimes I did allow myself to brood over the injustice of my situation, and whenever I did, I always felt worse. In addition to the pain from my injury, I also experienced the emotional pain of feeling that I had been really wronged. Because I had. But dwelling on that fact did not change anything about my situation. It did not help me to heal. It did not help me to be happy. The fact that I had been unjustly harmed was not a helpful one for me to think about.

Thankfully, God gave me the grace to give thanks in those circumstances. And when I did, I always felt better.

The hard part was this: in order to feel continually better, I had to keep making that difficult choice over and over again. Once was never enough. At some point, maybe when I was having to push through the pain, or maybe when I was having trouble falling asleep and my mind was drifting back to the events that had caused my injury, I would start to feel down again. And once I started feeling down, the thanks and praise that I gave God earlier in the day didn't do me much good: I had to start all over again and conscientiously choose to give thanks and praise in the present moment.

No matter what difficulties you're going through, and no matter what I problems I face in the future, whenever we are challenged, we each have to make the same difficult choice: we must choose to be thankful. We must choose to have an attitude of gratitude. But if we do, God has promised that we can enjoy his peace that "passeth all understanding." (Philippians 4:7.)

A Practical Tip for Cultivating an Attitude of Gratitude

Here is a practical tip for cultivating an attitude of gratitude: write down something that you are grateful for. Do it first thing in the morning, when you wake up. Better yet, think of someone you are grateful for, and write that person a short text message or email letting them know that you are thinking of them and that you are grateful to have them in your life. And then, before you go to bed, write down something that happened that day that you are grateful for. If you can, get someone to be your accountability partner in this and agree to send each other a text message or email each evening to briefly recap something good that happened that day. By doing this, you will actually train your mind to look for the good, rather than what is bad. And as your perspective becomes more positive, so will your mood. 

Trust God When You Don't Know What To Do!

Trust God When You Don't Know What to Do!

The Coronavirus may have given us a new reason to be afraid, but we have a reason not to fear that has not changed in over 2,000 years: Jesus! Whether we are facing a pandemic or any other threat, the most important thing to remember is this: trust God when you don't know what to do!

God Is Always With You!

Rest assured that God is always with you! Hebrews 13:5-6 says that God will never leave you nor forsake you! So you can boldly say, "The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me." As the old song says, "He's got the whole world in his hands!" That means that as long as you are in the world, you are in God's hands!

I remember when my youngest child had to go to the hospital when she was just a baby. She was screaming her head off, which was completely out of character for her. She hadn't eaten all day. She couldn't talk yet, so we had no idea what was wrong. I felt so helpless, because there was nothing I could do ... That is, there was nothing I could do on my own!

As David said in Psalm 61:2, "When my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the rock that is higher than I."

If I was the highest "rock" in my life, I would have nowhere else to turn when I came to the end of my own resources and my own strength! But thanks be to God, there is a rock that is higher than me! And through prayer, I have him on speed dial, 24-hours a day, seven days a week!

My heart was in my throat as the doctor said they would need to run some tests to rule out a potentially dangerous condition. There was nothing I could do to control the situation. I had no choice but to "let go and let God."

Before the doctor gave us the results of the test, I prayed and committed everything -- my daughter, her health, the results of the test -- to God. I prayed for her to be fully restored to health, of course. But I knew that no matter what the doctor said, everything would be alright.

God Has It All Worked Out!

Keep reminding yourself that God has it all worked out! We may be surprised by sudden reversals of fortune and unexpected difficulties. But these events will never surprise God, who sees the end from the beginning. (Isaiah 46:10.)

Of course, you can know this, intellectually. But you have to remind your heart, over and over, anytime your feelings reveal that you are really afraid that things won't work out for you or those you love.

God loves you unconditionally. He will never leave you or forsake you. As Psalm 39 declares, there is nowhere you can go where God is not with you; your entire life was written in God's book before you were even born; and you are "fearfully and wonderfully made."

Based on these promises from God, ask yourself, how could it be possible for things not to work out for you and those you love? Yes, we may experience some short-term losses and some temporary setbacks, but the ultimate reality is this: you are victorious through Christ!

How to Activate Your Faith!

Romans 12:3 says that to each of us, God has given a "measure of faith." And like the tiny measure of leaven in Jesus' parable that caused the whole batch to rise (Matthew 13:33), when you activate your faith and let God into your circumstances to go to work on your behalf, you can be confident that he will cause every aspect of your situation to work together for your ultimate good (Romans 8:28).

I know it can be tough to deal with danger and uncertainty. We are human after all, and we have natural human emotions, including fear. Our emotions were created by God, so our emotions are not wrong or sinful. But our emotions were meant to serve us, not to rule our lives.

Our emotions tell us what is going on in our hearts and  in our lives. If we experience fear, we should always ask why. Is there some real danger? Then God would have us be prudent and take reasonable precautions. Fear should motivate you to do something about the source of your fear. Fear might feel like a negative emotion, but its results should always lead us to some positive action in response.

Remember, courage is not the opposite of fear. Courage is the willingness to confront what you fear. And to do that, you need faith.

So how do you activate your faith when you are afraid? First, turn to God. Follow David's counsel from Psalm 61: when your heart is overwhelmed with fear, sorrow, regret, or any other unpleasant emotion, turn your attention to the rock that is higher than yourself: Jesus.

Remind yourself of who Jesus is and what he has promised to do. Remember what Jesus said to the disciples before he ascended into heaven, "And lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world." (Matthew 28:20). Are you a disciple of Jesus? Has the world ended yet? If you are a Christian, then Jesus is definitely still with you!

If you have done anything wrong, then ask God for forgiveness, and then receive that forgiveness. Forgive yourself. Don't try to have a higher standard for yourself than God does. He has made forgiveness easy, so don't you try to make it difficult. Forgive yourself.

If you have harmed someone else, then apologize and take reasonable steps to make amends. If you are too emotionally involved in a conflict with someone else to see what is appropriate to do, then ask a neutral third-party whose judgment you trust for advice. Once you have apologized and made amends, then move on. Don't wait on the other person to forgive you; receive forgiveness from God, and give forgiveness to yourself.

Now celebrate God's forgiveness and the new life he has given you. Give thanks to God! As the apostle Paul reminds us in Romans 8:32, God gave us Jesus to suffer and die, so that we could be saved; so you know that means that God is not going to hold anything back to give us what we need in life.

If you need an example of how to activate your faith, just look at the apostle Peter when he saw Jesus walking on the water in Matthew 14. First, he asked Jesus, "If this is you, if you're in this, then communicate that to me, so that I can join with you in this situation." Then he listened for Jesus' voice. And when Jesus called him, he went. No further questions. And as long as he kept his eyes on Jesus, he was able to do the impossible and stay on top of his circumstances. But unfortunately, Peter let his attention shift from Jesus to the problems and threats around him. When he saw the wind and the waves, he became afraid, and he started to sink. But Peter knew what to do: he immediately called out to Jesus to save him, and Jesus did.

When it's you in the middle of one of life's storms, do what Peter did correctly: focus on Jesus, on hearing his voice, and on doing what he leads you to do. But don't make the same mistake Peter made: don't take your eyes off Jesus. But if you do, follow Peter's example and immediately turn back to God, knowing that he hears your prayers and is quick to save and restore whatever has been lost.

Trust God When You Don't Know What To Do! 

The bottom line is this: trust God no matter what. Whether you think you know what to do or not, trust God. Whether you think you have everything you need or not, trust God. Whether you feel like everything is going well or poorly, trust God. Whether you feel like you have it all figured out, or whether you feel like you are completely overwhelmed and confused, trust God. Remind yourself who Jesus is, what he has done, and everything he has promised to do. Trust God.