How To Get Your Prayers Answered!

Want to know how to get your prayers answered? Obviously there is no formula that magically binds God to give you what you want -- and thank God for that, since he knows so much better than we do what is best for us -- but you can do a few things to make sure you are in a position to receive the answers and blessings that God wants to give you!

What Can Keep Us from Receiving Answers from God?

Psalm 103:7 says, God "made known his ways unto Moses and his acts unto the children of Israel." For most of the Israelites, they knew God only from what they saw him do. But with Moses, God actually revealed his plans and purposes before he acted; God showed Moses his heart.

That's like the difference between reading about the public actions of a President or Prime Minister in the news, on the one hand, and knowing the President or Prime Minister personally and being privy to his decision-making process.

If you want to know God's wisdom so that you can apply it to your life, the best way to do this is by getting to know God better. And how do you get to know God better? The best way is by reading his word.

Just like any good habit, reading the Bible may feel like work at first. Let's be honest, if you start with Leviticus or Deuteronomy, chances are you will quit reading before it becomes fun, since those are not the easiest parts of the Bible to read.  So I would recommend starting with the Gospels and the Psalms. There are a lot of reading plans and study groups out there that you can use. But the most important thing is to do like Nike: just do it!

Set aside some time each morning to read the Bible and pray. How much time? Start with something you feel you can easily do. If you only have five minutes, then set aside five minutes. If you can spend more time than that, then do so. But it's better to do a little consistently than to do much inconsistently; incidentally, that is true for trying to develop any new habit! Each day, give God the firstfruits of your time: spend your first few minutes after waking reading the Bible and then praying over what you read.

If you don't know where else to start, here's an easy reading program that worked for me when I first started to read the Bible regularly as an adult: read one chapter from the Gospel of Matthew and one Psalm each day. Once you finish Matthew, go on to Mark.

As the saying goes, "If you want to hear God speak audibly, read the Bible aloud."

As is true with any friendship, the more time you spend hearing or reading God's word, the more you will come to know his heart. And the more you come to know God's heart, the better you will be able to distinguish between what is in accordance with God's will and what is not.

Start Each Prayer with the Premise that God Loves You!

Whenever you pray, and whatever you pray for, pray with the belief that God loves you, because he does! 

As Paul says in Romans 5: 1-11, "God commendeth his love toward us in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us . . . For if, when we were enemies, we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, being reconciled, we shall be saved by his life." 

And in Romans 8: 31-32, Paul says, "If God be for us, who can be against us? He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for all of us, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things?" 

In other words, if Jesus willingly suffered and died for us when we were at our worst, then you best believe God won't withhold anything from us that we need to live a good and fulfilling life!

No matter what you are praying about or praying for, start each prayer with the premise that God loves you!

Have an Attitude of Gratitude towards God!

In 1 Thessalonians 5:18, Paul tells us that we should give thanks in every situation, because that is God's will for us.

No matter what you are going through, maintain an attitude of gratitude. Obviously, this can be easier said than done; but no matter how difficult it seems to stay positive and thankful, you really have no choice but to try, because the alternative is so harmful. 

If you hold a grudge, you poison your own mood and outlook on life. This is true whether you are holding a grudge against another person or against Life itself or God. Counting your problems is a surefire recipe for despair!

No matter what your situation is, you can always, ALWAYS, find something for which to be thankful. Tell God thanks for those things that are good in your life. Have food to eat? Clean water to drink? Clothes to wear? A roof over your head? Those things sound so basic, but start there. Look around you right now and try to find ten things that you would miss if you were to lose them. Here's one: are you able to breath easily and freely? Think about how grateful you would be to be able to breathe like that if you had emphysema!

In psychology, the action of focusing on what is good, rather than what is bad, is called "reframing." Even if you don't believe in God, reframing your perspective on your situation by counting your blessings and expressing gratitude for them is a powerful antidote for depression. 

Forgive Yourself and Others

Jesus makes this explicit in his teachings on prayer: if you want God to answer your prayers, be sure to forgive! This is not an option! 

As the Lord's Prayer goes, "Forgive us our debts [or trespasses], as we forgive our debtors [or those who trespass against us]." (Matthew 6:12.)

In Mark 11: 24-26, Jesus makes this teaching more explicit. After telling his disciples to have faith and trust God to give them what they ask for, Jesus says, "And when you stand praying, forgive, if ye have aught against any; that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses. But if ye do not fogive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses. 

Even if you have a good reason for holding a grudge, you exercise this dubious "right" at your own peril: you need forgiveness and mercy as much as anyone! And if you don't forgive others, you will have a hard time forgiving yourself, because deep down, you will know that you're not living up to your arbitrary standards of morality either. But if you are willing to forgive yourself and others, you can be sure that God has forgiven you as well. 

From mindfulness meditation, there's a technique which may also be helpful here. If you feel angry, turn your attention upon the raw sensations of this emotion, as you feel it in your body. Be willing to feel the physical tension or other pattern of energy that arises when you feel angry. Paradoxically, when you allow yourself to feel the raw physical pangs of anger, without identifying with it or trying to suppress it, the feeling is robbed of much of its power. It's almost like anger is a beach ball that you have tried to hold under the water, but which keeps rising to the surface: instead of trying to hold your anger down and force it out of your awareness, which is an impossible task, just let go of it.

Don't worry; it's not a sin to feel angry: in Ephesians 4:26, Paul quotes the Psalmist by saying, "Be angry, and sin not." What is wrong, harmful, and contrary to God's will for your life is for you to hold onto your anger, nurse a grudge, and try to get even.

As 1 John 1:9 says, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

Recap: How to Get Your Prayers Answered...

When you pray, pray from the wholehearted belief that God really does love you; be sure to have an attitude of gratitude and thank God for your blessings, especially if you don't feel like it; and forgive yourself and others, so that you are no longer holding any grudges against anyone. Moreover, start each day with prayer and Bible-reading, with no agenda other than to know God better and to know his will for your life. If you do these things, you will find that your prayer-life improves significantly, and you will see more of your prayers answered. Just be sure to give God thanks and praise when that happens!

Meditating on the 23rd Psalm

I love meditating on the 23rd Psalm. It's one of my favorite passages in the entire Bible. It has a lot of beautiful and vivid imagery about God's love, presence, peace, protection, and provision. In my quiet times, I often will just take a line from this Psalm and silently savor it, just letting the words seep deep into my soul.

Meditating on the 23rd Psalm

About David, Writer of the 23rd Psalm

David was many things: a poet, a musician, a songwriter, a singer, a shepherd, a soldier, a worshipper, and a king. I love him as a character in so many memorable stories in the books of 1st and 2nd Samuel and 1st and 2nd Kings. Sometimes he is the hero; sometimes he wins; sometimes he loses; and sometimes he is even the villain. But throughout it all, there remains a genuineness and humility that sets him apart. For all his very human failures and flaws, David always remains open to receiving God's instruction and even correction. 

David's sincere and earnest love of God comes through in the beautiful poetry of the Psalms. David doesn't put on airs or sugarcoat his difficult feelings and experiences. He doesn't try to weasel out of responsibility for his choices, including the terrible ones. He is raw and real in his prayers. He lets it all out and freely acknowledges that he struggles to do what is right, and when he makes mistakes and even when he sins egregiously, he confesses his wrongs frankly and without making excuses.

When Jesus told the parable of the two debtors, he indicated that those who are forgiven much love God the most. They know they need him. They know they can't make it on their own and that apart from God, they really don't have much to offer or boast about. David was such a person. He received a lot of mercy and forgiveness from God, and he never forgot that. He stayed humble and teachable, even when he was at the height of his fame and success.

The 23rd Psalm is so memorable, in part, because it conveys David's deep and abiding love for God and his complete faith and confidence in God's goodness and mercy.

Below is the text of the 23rd Psalm; read through it slowly:

The 23rd Psalm (KJV)

The Lord is my shepherd;

I shall not want.

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures;

He leadeth me beside still waters;

He restoreth my soul;

He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death

I will fear no evil,

For thou art with me;

Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me;

Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of my enemies;

Thou anointest my head with oil;

My cup runneth over.

Surely, goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life,

And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Meditating on the 23rd Psalm 

As you read through this beautiful Psalm, what words or phrases stood out to you the most?  God is your shepherd: he will protect you, guide you, provide for you, and bless you, even in the midst of adversity and in the presence of enemies!  Which of these images of God or his actions in your life, which of these metaphors, or which of these promises strikes you as the most encouraging or comforting?

Once a word or phrase comes to the forefront of your mind, set a timer for as many minutes as you are comfortable sitting silently. If you've never meditated, you can start with 5 minutes and see how that goes. 

If you already meditate regularly, you can assume the posture that feels most natural. You want your posture to be conducive to being both relaxed and alert: many people find it helpful to sit in a chair with their back straight and their feet flat on the ground, but if you prefer to sit cross-legged or even in the lotus position (if you're that flexible) then go with that. 

Gently close your eyes, take a few deep breaths, and then softly and slowly repeat the word or phrase to yourself, gradually softening your voice until it is barely audible, and then keep softening your voice even more, until you are simply thinking the word or phrase without saying it. In your mind, continue repeating the word or phrase slowly and softly. 

If you get distracted, don't worry about it; when you notice your attention has wandered, simply bring it back to the word or phrase you chose from the 23rd Psalm. Continue meditating on the 23rd Psalm in this way until the timer goes off.

You Don't Have To Be Perfect To Be Amazing!

You don't have to be perfect to be amazing! According to the Apostle Paul, we are God's masterpieces, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which he prepared in advance that we might walk in them! Ephesians 2:10. God does not make mistakes! And if you are his workmanship, you must be pretty awesome!

"You Don't Have to be Perfect to be Amazing!"

Forgive Yourself!

If you have done anything wrong, then ask God for forgiveness, and then receive that forgiveness. Forgive yourself!

Don't try to have a higher standard for yourself than God does. He has made forgiveness easy, so don't you try to make it difficult. Forgive yourself!

If you have harmed someone else, then apologize for what you have done. Don't focus on what the other person did. Just acknowledge what you did or failed to do. If there is something that can be reasonably done to right the wrong, then do it. The key word is "reasonable," which can be tough to determine when you are one of the parties involved in a conflict. Ask a neutral third party whose judgement you trust what you think you should do. Pray about it. And once you have a genuine conviction about what you should do to make amends, then do it.

And once you have apologized and taken reasonable steps to make amends, then move on with your life! Forgive yourself! Just like you would forgive someone you love dearly, like your child or your best friend.

Jesus said that you should love your neighbor as yourself. Interestingly, for many people, the stumbling block here is loving themselves! And if you don't love yourself -- if you instead have hatred and contempt for yourself and criticize yourself constantly -- what kind of love can you possibly offer anyone else? If you have mostly negative feelings towards yourself, then you will more likely hate your neighbor like you hate yourself, rather than loving them!

Change Your Perspective about the Past!

If you are looking back over your past and you feel like you've had more failures than successes, more regrets than good memories, and more sorrow than joy, you've got to change your relationship with your past. The past is over and done with. You can't go back and change it now. But you can change how you think about it.

Here's something you can try: look at your life as it is right now and find some things to be grateful for. You may not feel like it, but it's the only way to change your negative habits of mind. Maybe you have trained yourself to look for the bad in each situation, so that you expect things to be bad and to only get worse. That habit of mind won't change on its own. You have to conscientiously make a point, each day, of looking for things you can be grateful for. 

Start a gratitude journal! Every morning, as soon as you wake up (or maybe after you've poured yourself a cup of coffee to drink while you do this), write down three things you are grateful for. And don't just do this mechanically. As you write each one down, stop and think about it for a minute. Savor it, if you can. Imagine what it would feel like to lose it, and then imagine how overjoyed you would feel if, after losing it, you found it again! By doing this, you can increase your appreciation for what you already have, and stop beating yourself over what you don't have; and you can become happy to be who you are, where you are, with the life you're actually living, rather than some idealized vision of how things could have turned out if you had taken a different path -- a vision which is almost certainly unrealistic and leaves out a lot of the difficulties you would have faced if you actually had taken that different path. Instead of ruminating over what you think went wrong, express gratitude for what has gone well! 

Have an attitude of gratitude! Give thanks to God for what you actually have -- especially your relationships with God and with others -- and thank God for the life you are actually living!

Here's another thing you can do: make peace with your past. It is what it is, but it's not who you are; and it's definitely not who you're destined to become. As 1 John 1:9 says, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us of all unrighteousness." Take God at his word and receive his forgiveness. 

If you feel discouraged, pause for a minute, turn your attention towards that feeling, and examine it in a dispassionate, open-hearted, and curious way: examine it like you would examine a piece of cloth or something equally impersonal. Pay attention to the physical sensations associated with the feeling. Where do you  feel it? Become aware of it, not as a judgment about you or your life, but merely as a pattern of energy in your body. In doing this, you may discover something ironic: as you become willing to feel this sensation and pay attention to it more closely, rather than trying to fight or suppress it, you will find (with enough practice) that the emotion loses energy and dissipates on its own.

Remember this: a feeling is not a fact, even if it purports to be. Maybe a feeling of sadness feels like a compelling judgment that your life is bad, but it is not. Practice the technique of "reframing" -- which is where you change your perspective on something by shifting your frame of reference; sometimes this is also called "paradigm shifting." Here's an example: let's say the traffic is unexpectedly bad and you are running late for an important meeting. One perspective would be to focus only on the inconvenience of being late, the feeling of pressure to arrive on time, or the anticipation of being embarrassed to arrive after the meeting has already started. If you make that your focus, your mood will be negative. Instead, try thinking about how you would have felt if, instead of simply running late because of bad traffic, you had experienced a breakdown and you had to wait on the side of the road for a tow truck -- that would surely be so much worse than just being a little late because of traffic: focus on what a blessing it is to have a car that is working the way it should! You may be late, but at least you're moving towards your destination! And then think, how bad is this really going to be? Probably not nearly as bad as you imagine! And will it really matter in 20 years that you arrived late today for this meeting? Probably not! By shifting your perspective, you will  soon find that your negative feelings about the situation subside, even if just for a moment; but the fact that your feelings can change like that, when your circumstances have stayed the same and only your perspective has changed, shows that your feelings are not so absolutely and objectively true as they "feel."

Progress, NOT Perfection!

The reality is, as long as we are living in this world, we will always be "on the road" to somewhere else. We never arrive once and for all. And so that means we are continually making progress, which means we aren't perfect! Perfection is not the goal in this life: progress is. As the recovery-program slogan goes, "Progress, NOT perfection."

You Don't Have to be Perfect to be AMAZING!!!

You don't have to be perfect to be amazing. God already loves you and has a plan for your life. God has already forgiven you and set you free. Be free! Allow yourself to be as amazing as God wants to empower and enable you to be!